Contribution is the Enemy of Guilt

Good soggy morning to you!

I trust that you kept safe and relatively dry this past 24 hours!  How ironic that the skies are peeking through a cheeky blue 'Wassup? 'this morning!  It's like nothing at all happened yesterday, no regrets, no lingering hint of guilt from mother nature that she had unceremoniously dumped an almighty deluge our way - she just got on with it and dumped anyway!  Bad luck if you had some needs of your own to attend to - she had other ideas!

As mothers - how often are you hampered in your attempts to do what would come naturally to you in order to take care of your own needs, and end up sorting something else for someone else out first?  We could take a lesson from mother nature yesterday and it was serendipitous that this happened just before I write this - because today's blog was inspired earlier this week by another patient.  Thank you - you know who you are and I hope this concept we discussed is working for you so far!

When any of us take some time out to rest, recuperate, regenerate and recharge and guilt prevents us from fully enjoying in it, fully surrendering to it or fully appreciating our rights to earn it - we cut our time short.  When I was discussing this concept with my patient this week I observed that here before me was a very successful woman who has well and truly earned the next phase of her life - to cut back on work, relocate to a remote island and enjoy a serious sea change.

Just because the game board is looking like shifting a little sooner than she expected and her work is potentially about to restructure, leaving her with less days engaged on the job, and despite the fact that she has financially prepared herself to cope with a reduction in pay for the next few years until the planned sea change - I was looking at a fearful and anxious yet amazingly capable woman, who was wracked by guilt for being able to downsize, when others around her were clearly going to struggle.

Anxiety and fear can be powerful emotions, as can guilt. I call this the triple header when it comes to mood altering, gut churning and sleep interrupting chemistry that surges through your body.  Herbs, nutrients, diet, exercise and meditation can be helpful to help reduce the potency of these emotions, but the true enemy of guilt is contribution - so we explored this concept and I encouraged her to remind her when she is resting, reading or doing what it takes to relax - to also run through a ready made inventory of the things she has done that has given her the justification to chill out and come back to centre again.

When you feel and can convince yourself that you are still contributing in life despite temporarily 'checking out' of the routine you've had previously, guilt tends to slide away and in its place is a complete justification that you have earned the right to rest and enjoy. There are so many ways you contribute to the world and people around you but many of you are on autopilot so can easily over look your efforts.  Here are a few possible areas you have earned the rights to your recharge:

1.  Taken on some extra duties at work for an absent employee

2.  Prepared a meal for someone else (yes your family count in this despite you doing it daily)

3.  Cleaned something you didn't dirty

4.  Allocated some time to listen to someone's woes and troubles

5.  Rescheduled your planned time out to take care of business

6.  Cut your lunch short to finish/start a project/tend to someone else's needs

7.  Parenting young children

8. Running your own business/company

9.  Caring for sick, disabled, elderly relatives/friends

10. Driving out of your way for someone when it cost you a meal or an early leave pass from work

Remember - you may feel this is also the way the worlds goes around, and I am not at all asking you to stop contributing because goodness knows this world needs more love flowing through it - but you also are a part of this world and if you miss out on a little self love - what contribution can you make?  Get busy on your recharge list - you may need visual reminders on what you like to do to rest up buttercup!

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